I recently took part in project finding your rainbow which you can read more about here https://mutuallymums.wixsite.com/mutuallymums/post/project-finding-your-rainbow.
I posted the photos on my personal Facebook page, as I was proud of how they turned out and wanted to update people on what I am currently doing with mutually mums.
An old school friend commented on the photos and congratulated me on being pregnant based on this particular photo. I am not pregnant and have not been pregnant for 8 years. It didn't even occur to me that this photo could be perceived in this way until someone pointed it out. I quickly removed the comment so I didn't cause any embarrassment, and messaged to let her know that this photo is actually the scan photo of my baby that passed away 9 years ago.
She was of course apologetic but there was absolutely no need to be. I posted this photo with no context and just assumed every would know what I had been through. This is obviously ridiculous and I'm really glad that she pointed this mistake out to me. It's really made me realise that I need to clearly display what photos like this are referring to. If this had have happened a few years ago, it would have caused me so much distress and retraumatised me.
I think people are generally good and want the best for each other. I recieved a lovely heartfelt message from someone who I have known a very long time because she didn't know any better and that is completely on me. I would advise that if anyone posts on their baby loss journey, they make it clear what their photos and posts are referring to. If I was someone who was still suffering, then this would have deeply affected me.
If you have ever made a mistake like this, please don't feel bad. It's the normal assumption to make when seeing a scan photo, and it's natural to congratulate someone. Unless you've been through pregnancy loss, it's hard to imagine any other response to these types of photos other than a positive one.
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