Today marks 3 years since my dad passed away at only 56 years old on 13/03/2020.
In January 2020 my dad was diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer. He had been complaining of stomach pains over Christmas and had lost some weight, but we never expected it to be something so serious. Pancreatic cancer is hard to detect and doesn't usually present itself until the final stages.
Early stage of pancreatic cancer may be asymptomatic. Symptoms will show up only when the disease progresses and include:
Digestive problems, including abnormal stools, nausea or vomiting
Pain in the upper abdomen and back
Loss of appetite
Sudden weight Loss
Jaundice (yellowing of the skin and whites of the eyes)
Very high sugar levels in diabetic patients (http://cancerresearchuk.org)
On March 13th he passed away just 6 short weeks after his diagnosis. There was no time to create memories or spent quality time together. The world was just starting to learn about covid and we were put into lockdown and restrictions a week later. Me and my children were locked in the house with our grief. We had no outlet for this grief or any kind of support network to turn to. We couldn't escape and go to soft play or see friends or get back to a routine with school. We were just locked in our house and stuck in a nightmare. Trying to navigate my own feelings about this, whilst also being a single parent and trying to nurture the grief my children were experiencing, with no way to leave to house and see friends or seek professional support, was horrendous. We also had restrictions on the funeral and, because of covid, we couldn't have a wake or a celebration of his life. My sister was also pregnant with her first child during this time. I cannot speak about her feelings during this time, but the guilt I felt knowing my children had 5 and 7 years with our dad while her child had no time with him, was awful.
To mark the anniversary of his passing, I would like to hold a celebration of life here and share a bit about my dad. As well as a dad to me and a grandad to my children, he was also
Our gardener
Our flatpack furniture builder
Our boiler engineer
Our taxi service
Our childcare
Our helping hand
Our support
Our entertainment
As a single parent, I relied on my dad for a lot of things, and have become more aware of that since he died. Wherever you are, thank you dad for always making sure me and the boys were looked after and supporting us whenever we needed it. I don't have that support anymore and really feel the difference in my life. You are greatly missed.
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